September

September came and went away
your birthday was a gloomy day
empty promises and rain
angry thunder, angry pain

I walk beneath stainless sky
at times I’d laugh, at times I’d cry
Jamie said that I’d be fine
all I need is some time

The leaves are falling at my feet
remember how you kissed my cheek?
The leaves are falling at the ground
waiting for you to come around

Your keys are sitting by my bed
the books you left have all been read
American hopes, American tunes
dangling over our dreams

Left Behind ( another winter alone)


There you go to live your dream
I’m gonna step aside
and I’m not gonna beg, not tell you – you should stay with me, baby
you let your ambitions sail and now I’m left behind
and I hardly can’t remember how we used to kiss, baby

And it seems to me that you’re not even real, not even real
and all I can say is that I don’t think I’ll survive
another winter alone, you’re fading away…

What are you waiting for?

Why don’t you come back to me…

I failed to see this compromise; it’s just not good enough
and maybe you forgot, started to believe your own lies, baby
all this time is going down, my heart’s ascenting dust
I’ll put on some make-up so the color will start coming back to me

Because I can’t pretend that’s not how I feel, not how I feel
but all I can say is that I don’t think I’ll survive
Another winter alone, you’re fading away…

Why don’t you come back to me…

Saved
I was just a little girl
thought I did no wrong
lost my meaning and myself
and messed up all the same

weighed my sins on a slanted scale that I got from you
(try to make amends)
and I’m too narrow to contain all your guilt and your pain

where'd you go with all I had
where'd you go with all that I needed
now the times and the terms have changed
and I feel that I could still be saved

I was pretty and so tamed
an empty wedding veil
cross my fingers and my heart
create myself again

inside me, oh a beautiful war
(try to make amends)
I beat myself up so many times before
can I smoke just one more?


I will fold and tuck you away
I have nothing else to say...
to you.


Beautiful Childhood

Beautiful childhood, beautiful girl – can you hear?
Crying with silence, dreaming away – can you hear?
The words that I’ve written with my little tears – can you hear?
Cant you hear my cry, if I say it out loud
will it go away?

Everyone’s painting perfect picture that I am
but at night my wall and my chocolate – cover melts
it’s always been the same
but here I am starring at the mirror with a glance
I can see my own true reflection giving me a another chance

I’m taking my time and I’m breaking it down – are you near?
I’m hanging my thoughts and I’m clearing my fears – are you near?
Mother you promised you’ll always be there – are you near?
Are you near with love? Will you hold my hand tight?
Save me please…

Beautiful childhood, beautiful girl – can you hear?
Beautiful girl, can you do just one thing for me?
My screams and my yelling became pretty songs – can you hear?
Can you hear my cry, If I say it out loud – will it go away?


Sigh

I breathe slowly, can't feel my pulse
I’m still not used to your broken voice
tomorrow's sunday- maybe we'll meet?
grab a coffee or a bite to eat...

I sigh for you....

I see clearly remorse is a hint
your artless kiss full of deceit
you said "it's o.k." you said "feel my heat"
forbidden fruits, oh how sweet

I sigh for you...

a little less nervous, not so scared
a little less sure but more daring instead
tomorrow's sunday - are we going to meet?
it's been a while, more than you think

and sunday comes and you don't show
I’m all dressed up for you
sunday comes and you don't show....i'm all messed up
and sunday comes and you don't show
I’m all dressed up for you
sunday comes and you don't know
I sigh a sigh.....of relief.


Smoke ring

Well I’ve been waiting for the story to open
and been tossing cause my eyes won’t close
there’s a piece missing but it’s in my hand now
I’d like to plant it and see how it grows

Well I’ve been wondering through the ageless pathways
and been talking to the spare change saints
for everyone drifting sidewords sleeping

We are, we are, we are
could it be I found
we are, we are, we are
a clue in the sound
of the opening and closing of boxes made of lies

Well I’ve been waiting in the sense of wonder
I see the water in an empty sea
I hear the whisper of a formless lady
and she knows something of the void
and the ageless pathways of desire

and she calls me under her wing
between the sand and the rain and the fire
and dances in a rising smoke ring

We, are, we are, we are
all the forest sings
We are, we are, we are
knowing everything
of the soul and the stars and the laughter in her eyes


No Complaints

I used to go through lovers with a “wink and a smile”
perhaps I don’t know how to fall in love, I defy
you left a note beside my bed today: “ we should try”
you tell me I should let my past mistakes go by
so I try…


There you are, no complaint
when I tell you that I just need my own space
“That’s o.k.” you just say to me and walk away
(and) here I am – no more games- I can be just
who I am, and you still stay with me.

I love the way you hold me in your arms, feels so safe
my bag full of magic yellow pills just in case
I used to run away when I felt something true
but now I know I still have a chance, cause it’s you
So I try…

There you are, no complaint
when I tell you that I just need my own space
“That’s o.k.” you just say to me and walk away
(and) here I am – no more games- I can be just
who I am, and you still stay with me.

Told you I’m scared, Told you that I can’t go on
but you still stay with me.


I Feel

Cause I feel this way again and I myself, I’ll sail again
If I see you hide inside, I’ll take you where you need
to be, cause I can, baby. I can

Cause I feel this world is going mad, and maybe we
can save time
if I can make you smile, you know I’m ready
ready for some fun
don’t you know I’m ready

So I try to walk with pride
and I will fall from time to time
If you see me sadly smile,
Just know I’m trying to be all that I can

So I try to make a move
and everything is in my way
and I feel I’ll try again
and I myself will have my day
cause I feel, oh baby – I feel

Cause I feel this way again and I myself, I’ll sail again
If I see you hide inside, I’ll take you where you need
to be, cause I can, baby. I can


Waiting On A Shelf

I need to please, I need to prove
I need to make them happy
I wanna dance. I wanna shine,
wanna make them proud
every time I close my eyes I find
that maybe it’s just a big waste of time.

A voice is creeping in my mind…

Waiting on a shelf
my ears are dazed from what I hear
I can’t run away from what it says: ah, ha
you’ll never make it…
Ah, ha laughing at me.

Nothing’s pure, nothing’s real
nothing’s worth saving
I’m never calm, never free
always suffocating
I wanna pick bits of luck from the ground
feels like I’m breaking down,
but there ain’t no time
why can’t I make you leave my mind?

Should I stay?
Should I change?
Another cosmic faze
now I understand that it would have been
my fault
awaken my soul
I’ll be myself forever

I wanna breath, I wanna smile
I wanna mean what I’m saying
my heart is raw, my mouth is dry
I hardly hear my voice
can you see the sadness in my eyes?
Can you tell me that it’s all gonna be o’right?
Why can’t I get some peace of mind?

Waiting on a shelf
my ears are dazed from what I hear
I can’t run away from what it says: ah, ha
you’ll never make it…
Ah, ha laughing at me.


With Maybes

The story ended here with me
all I’m saying is free
but I hear you
so I made some mistakes
soon I’ll know
although I made them I’m here
but I hear you...

now I’m dancing with fears and you
you walked away with my tears
I want to find out for real this time
where you end and I begin
I miss you....

so I end up here with maybes
try to understand the way I am
so I end up here with maybes
try to understand the way I am

it took me years to arrive to you
and now I’m here and you're gone
I want to find out for real this time
where you end - I begin
I miss you...

so I end up here with maybes
and I try to feel the same again
so I end up here with maybes
try to understand the way I am

all I’m saying is free...

where you end - I begin...